Normally, these scenes are subscriber-exclusive but both because we’re coming up and Christmas and my birthday, as my present to you for both my birthday and Jesus’ —
[Incidentally, December 14 is also the birthday of Japanese Emperor Go-Suzaku, Danish astronomer Tycho Brahe, King George VI (he of King’s Speech fame) and Lithuanian basketballer Saulius Štombergas – yes, the Saulius Štombergas.]
— I’m going to make this one, and probably also the last two of the year, available to everyone.
Never ask me for anything ever again.
(That was a joke.)
To set the stage for this one a little, Hortensia is what you’d call Dunstana’s Sitcom Arch-Nemesis, a rival who hasn’t really ever actually done anything. Keep in mind that Dunstana is 10, so it’s not ridiculous that they’re be other kids she has childish spats with.
I’ve had the idea for a while, but I haven’t been able to implement it, because, although Dunstana is 10, she also more or less a full-time pirate and I haven’t been able to thread the needle on how she interacts with other children…
But I really want to incorporate this character, because I really want somebody to regularly call her “Dumb-stana…”
© 2025 – J.B. Norman, published by Emona Literary Services
With their mission to raise desperately-needed funds for the Municipal Art Gallery of Porthaven now claiming the support of the wealthy and influential retired Goblin mercenary captain Boss Virrad, Dunstana, Anne, and Ginger have been selling more cookies than ever.
As Boss Virrad’s newest hire, Kat has been sent to accompany the girls to protect his investment – which she thinks really means ‘make sure there are still some cookies left over for him.’
As the party comes down the dockside street, a girl in an elegant dress about Dunstana’s age comes along the other way, accompanied by her own entourage, including several armed guards in matching livery, and a man carrying an easel and a carry-case of paints.
As Dunstana and the other girl, with her purple dress and blonde curls cross paths, they stop suddenly and stare each other down – like two rival wolves meeting in the forest.
Or, Kat, decides given their size and general look, more like two rival kittens fighting over a ball of yarn.
“It’s you,” Dunstana hisses.
“Oh, hello, Dumb-stana,” the blonde girls says.
“Hortensia,” Dunstana growls through clenched teeth.
“I thought everything started smelling a little stupider,” Hortensia says.
Dunstana throws her hands up in bewilderment. “That doesn’t even make sense! You can’t smell stupid, Stupid!”
Hortensia momentarily glances past Dunstana.
“Hey!” Dunstana cries. “Don’t ignore me now.”
She curtsies with unexpected politeness to Ginger, Annie, and Kat.
“Annie, Ginger. Miss Kat.” She favours Kat with a particularly deep curtsy. “Thank you once again for babysitting me while Mother and Father where at the cotillion. You tell bedtime stories quite well.”
“Traitor,” Dunstana mutters to her sister.
Despite her animosity with Dunstana, Hortensia is from a rich, well-bred family and has been taught it’s unbecoming of a young lady to cause collateral damage. Theirs longstanding conflict that Kat was borne much witness to over the years, though she’s not quite sure why the two girls set each other off so much.
“Out of the way, Bore-tensia,” Dunstana says – it’s always been particularly grating that she hasn’t been able to think up a mean name that’s nearly as clever as ‘Dumb-stana’.
“You’d best step aside then, Dumb-stana,” Hortensia replies. “We shan’t need to sully ourselves with your presence much longer. We’re simply moving to where we might find the best natural light in the Dock District.
Kat bites her lip. She knows she should probably be on her sister’s side in this conflict, but Hortensia has never been anything gracious towards her. And it’s adorable that she talks like an old lady…
“For, you see,” Hortensia continues. “Mother and Father have hired Monsieur Le Peinture here—”
The artist at her side politely tips his beret.
“— to commission personal portraits to raise funds for our beloved Municipal Art Gallery of Porthaven.”
“But we’re raising funds for the Art Gallery!” Dunstana protests, pointing to the wagon full of cookies.
Hortensia puts her hand in front of her mouth and laughs like ‘Ohohoho!’
“How charmingly plebeian. Well, Dumb-stana, you’ll never save the Art Gallery doing that. Clearly, it must shoulder the burden.
With a final curtsy to Annie, Ginger, and Kat – and a final opportunity to stick her tongue out at Dunstana – Hortensia and her entourage continue on their way.
“Yeah, well, Hortensia is a weird name!” Dunstana calls after her.
Katherine Hortensia Darkstone awkwardly coughs into her elbow.
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